In the Beginning

The Path
The Nolodex was created after being overwhelmed with the online dating scene...I'd save someone's contact information and type in a big "NO" next to their name. However, after a traumatic relationship, The Nolodex evolved into something greater and much more important...learning how to say "NO" to unhealthy situations and toxic relationships.
My painful relationship with a covert narcissist catapulted me into self reflection because I never wanted to repeat a relationship like that again. I had to learn how to say "NO" and to leave unhealthy relationships. My path to relationship recovery included taking the following steps:
  1. Googling their bad behavior (red flag!).
  2. Researching toxic relationships.
  3. Learning about narcissism.
  4. Discovering covert narcissism.
  5. Finding out that "empaths" and "codependents" attract narcissists.
  6. Learning why I am an empath and codependent (typical of childhood programming) which led to studying PTSD
  7. Falling upon Complex PTSD and realizing that I was comfortable with the emotional pain and discomfort because I was raised in a similar environment.
  8. Watching hundreds of videos and attending support groups that focus on Complex Trauma, healing of the self, and learning about the importance of setting and keeping healthy boundaries.​

In the Future

It is my hope, wish, and dream, that my ongoing inner work and research will help people rise above and to just say NO to unhealthy relationships that break you down rather than build you up. To do this, you must believe that you are worth it. That you are enough. That you are an amazing individual that deserves the absolute best relationships, romantic or not, where you are cherished and appreciated for all that is you. Bottom line...believe in you. Believe in who you are. Believe in who you want to become. You've got this.   

With Much Gratitude

Learning is a never ending road and there is no way I would have been able to travel so far without some extremely important people that walked with me along the way. Thank you so much to my besties M.M. and J.K., my Tribe of some amazingly strong women that have overcome some amazing challenges in their lives (D.H., S.T., K.G., and B.K.). Then there are the two couples that have modeled loving kindness in their marriages and because of that, I know what it can look like. Thank you so much to the Thompson and Hill families for showing me that unconditional love and loving kindness are real and not only possible, but necessary to have in a committed and loving relationship.